Wednesday, 18 February

18:15

Credits and Love [Tęsknota]

joel

Prophet Joel, Korovniki Church (c. 1654, Yaroslavl)

I wrote here a few months ago about strategizing to be more charitable in certain difficult relationships in my life. This exercise came with some tough realizations about my approach to loving. I realized that I often approached charity as though there were some kind of credit system. “Look, I spent time listening to your problems yesterday, so today that means you need to leave me alone.” Or, “I went out of my way to be kind to you earlier this week. Doesn’t that mean I get a free pass now?” To use another analogy, I was looking at relationships as though they were on a weekly (or even monthly) chore chart. Plan a dinner: check. Catch up on problems: check. Friendship confirmed, time to check out for a few weeks.

I came to realize how ridiculous this approach was when I thought about what it would be like if I tried to do the same thing with my prayer requirements for the Third Order. You can’t just sit down and say the entire week’s worth of Evening Prayers on Sunday to get them out of the way! It wouldn’t make any sense; the purpose of prayer according to the Rule is to help the Dominican “pray always,” and by having certain set times for prayer, we remember the importance of praying throughout the day.

In the same way, looking at love through the lens of building up credits is completely misguided. It leads you down a path that culminates in the lie that you can earn love through specific actions, and that you can cash in your “credits” for complacency in your relationship. It adds to our tendency to simply get people “off our backs” or “out of the way.” But people–as complicated and messy as this might make our lives–are not tasks. If we aren’t doing our best to be present to a person in the moments that we have with them, we’ve lost. It doesn’t really matter, at the moment I blow someone off, how nice I was to them the day before. Wouldn’t it be terrible, for example, if the day after a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner your partner was completely rude to you? Would the dinner the night before lessen the pain of being hurt by them the next day?

And the same goes for God. Religion is not a gym where you put in your hours and get a certain amount of payoff. It doesn’t make sense to say, “Well, I went to two holy hours last week so I won’t go to one this week.” There may be limits on your time this week because of the extra time you spent at church the previous week–fine, that is totally valid in my opinion. But it’s not that you got the holy hour “out of the way early.” The time you spend loving God today is going to be unique. The present moment is all we can give God, as I have written about before.

The Ash Wednesday liturgy contains my favorite scripture verses from the prophet Joel: “Even now, says the Lord, return to me with your whole heart.” That phrase “even now” has meant different things to me over the years… “even now” when you are struggling in your faith, “even now” when you keep falling into sin. Today the “even now” meant “even now,” when you are feeling a time of stability, of growth, of renewal… do not forget to rely always on Me.


14:07

Lent 2015 [Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam]

Dunno about you, but most of my spiritual progress has come during Lent. Some years it's a few steps forwards, others it's "leaps-and-bounds."

So, having statistically proven that Lent is the time to really get into spiritual shape, I wanted to muse aloud (or, "aprint") on what that spiritual shape should, IMCO, look like.

There are people for whom Christianity in general, and Catholicism in particular, are not so much reasons for joy* as they are opportunities to "be angry about the right things."

And Christianity in general, and Catholicism in particular, are not so much about anger as they are about joy. That said, yes there are occasions in which righteous anger is warranted, and even when giving voice or motion to that anger is proper, good, and correct.

But joy, not anger, should be the default.

I grew up with people -- let's just leave that at that -- who were of the "angry persuasion" and for whom the attraction of Catholicism was being, as noted above, angry at the right things.

You see it all over the Catholic blogosphere. And there's a very simple litmus test to see if the blogger in question is "an angry one" or merely expressing her/himself with anger about a particular matter: How many references (outside of the polemical post in question) are there in that blog to: Confession? Grace? The saints? Devotions, novenæ, pilgrimages or prayers? How many posts about Scripture or its lessons for everyday living?

I suspect you know the answer.

So, for Lent, you should seek to "serve" your Lent with joy that is obvious and not, as Jackie Mason would note: "by looking nauseous and disturbed." How?

1- Well, start with your Google alerts. I know that many of you have Google alerts that you have specifically created to inform you of things about which you should be angry. The doings, goings and sayings of Person X are fed to you in a ceaselessly bitter stream of news. Stop that.

2- Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! Go to Confession! If you are not going to Confession, you're doing Lent wrong. Period. If Lent is a season where we strive to make better our conversion -- and it is -- and if that requires self-examination and self-accusation in light of God's will -- and it does -- then you have to, out of the self-recognition as a sinner in dire need of God's sanctifying grace and His forgiveness, get thee to the Confessional. There is no getting around this.

3- Having done the above, get a Plenary Indulgence. You really don't want to spend any time in Purgatory. You almost certainly have loved ones who are in Purgatory, and who will not be able to get out on their own. A Plenary Indulgence (or even a partial one) helps these holy souls attain Heaven sooner than if they had "timed out."

Let's get to work.

-J.

*Joy, not happiness. "Happiness is not a condition, happiness is a sensation."

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30310102030405
June 2010
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
31010203040506
07080910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293001020304
January 2010
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
28293031010203
04050607080910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
December 2009
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
30010203040506
07080910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031010203
November 2009
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
26272829303101
02030405060708
09101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30010203040506